resignation

Emilia

of

8 y/o medium Female
Biff, Male Emporer Tamarin
© Kii
There was an odd feeling since coming back. On the one hand, there was a sort of peace being at home where things were mostly familiar still, bringing a sense of normalcy. On the other, it stirred up painful memories and left Emilia feeling on edge. She constantly struggled to catch her breath in these times, on the verge of an anxiety attack. Oh how she despised feeling so weak. It irritated her more than anything and she could not help but to push anyone who tried to get close to her away. She needed space.

It was unsafe to travel too far from home, especially after the excitement of only recently chasing out the cougars, but she needed some quiet for a bit. The pond wasn't too far off. She was confident enough she could handle herself if things took a turn for the worse. It was just overwhelming being surrounded by so many faces, new and familiar alike. More than anything she needed to process how she felt before she found herself alone with her husband.

Thinking about that, she could not help but laugh bitterly. What an odd concept, fearing the company of the one you were married to. He should be considered her best friend, the one she could trust more than anyone else, right? Her own failures only made her in to that much more of a coward she supposed. Pathetic. Bitterness was all she felt as she moved to the pond's edge, gazing down at the reflection that stared back with pure contempt of herself.




"Speaking."


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Manfried

of

8 y/o xlarge Male
Zandra, female spotted skunk
© Ginga

He followed her scent. It was almost an obsession now to follow her and get this talk over with. She had eluded him after the hunt, and before the meeting. He would not let her escape from him again, not now with this conversation, not in their future conflicts, Not ever. She was his prize, his jewel. She was a rough stone among the other pretty diamonds but he still chose her over everyone else. She was the rebellious heart he wished he had, the courage he could never conjure up, and the strength of heart he would never possess. "Em.." He whispered into the warm breeze that teased the fur along his neck and face as he wandered closer to his supposed other half. 

Her scent trail lead through the trees north of the border. Was this where she had been hiding out all this time? Maybe just a break from all the adventure from this life? He couldn't figure it out and the idea of it just being a break from him cause a stroke of anger to grace his features. She had run from him instead of embracing his encouragement. Her pride stood between them and he knew it. Slowly he walked up to the pond from downwind. For the first time he got to view his wife relaxed and unstressed. He wished his memory was better at that time, if he could he would remember this moment for as long as he could. Her laugh broke his concentration, the sound of it setting his hairs on fire with a flicker of anger. It was a laugh of pain and acceptation of that pain. 

Slowly he strode up behind her, his movements were not completely stealthy but they weren't attention grabbing either. He wanted her to be surprised to see him but not frightened. His body was a bit taller then hers and without really thinking it all through he immediately stood over her and looked down into the reflection of her. Her face was taunt with bitterness but he didn't care, it was still the most lovely face he'd looked into in a long while. "A sight for sore eyes..." He rumbled deep in his chest. His body aiming to stand over her and his legs on either side. If he had anything to do with it, she wouldn't get the chance to run this time.

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Emilia

of

8 y/o medium Female
Biff, Male Emporer Tamarin
© Kii
Staring at the crystalline reflection, she wanted nothing more than to swipe claws at the surface of the water to destroy the face that stared back at her. Pathetic. Her muscles grew a bit tight, the fur along her spine near bristling though she knew there was no point in attacking that which she could not touch. The water, after all, was not the one to blame here. It was simply existing and doing what it was meant to. And besides, as if she could ever truly find peace in erasing her own reflection. She had too much pride to ever consider killing herself. Or perhaps that was fear that stopped her?

Whatever the case, she did not get to dwell on the thought long, the sound of approach drawing a flick of an ear. She did not need to turn to know that it was him. She'd grown too accustomed to the sound of his own movement for him to be able to sneak up on her, even without his scent lingering on the wind to betray him. For only a moment she considered dashing away. Would she be able to outrun him? The thought was humored for only a moment before it was dismissed. Even if she could, they were not children. As much as it pained her, she knew she could not avoid the subject forever, not if she wanted to return home in peace.

Staying where she was, she did not pull away even as he drew close enough to stand over her, legs on either side to trap her in. She supposed if she truly wanted to escape she could give him a good run for his money. But she behaved for the time being as he looked at her reflection as well, his grizzled reflection joining hers. The words he spoke were a compliment but she simply scoffed bitterly. "A coward maybe. Failure."

Lips curling up in a snarl, she jerked her head away from the reflection, pushing away from him to move just to the side, enough room to sit without being crowded while leaving him enough certainty she wasn't running. She knew what he'd come for but she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She refused to cry in front of him. After all the years they'd known each other, her tears were the last thing she'd show him. "I shouldn't be here." Not without them. So many times she wished she'd died with her newborns over the months she had isolated herself. It was just not something she'd ever said out loud before now.





"Speaking."


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Manfried

of

8 y/o xlarge Male
Zandra, female spotted skunk
© Ginga

As she brushed off his comment with a snarl he could do nothing against the anger that boiled over in his chest. She had him twisted so far around her claws that anything she did seemed like a strike straight through his chest.  "A coward maybe.. Failure" Came from the lips of his woman and his heart over flowed with regret and angry toward himself. If maybe he had been here.. Though this was not his nature to be soft and gentle.. Not ever. When she began to move his muscles tightened as if he was waiting for her to make a move. Em didn't go far but she did leave his space. Without her presence he felt empty and it wasn't something he liked. 

Thinking about it, he had that emptiness since he left for war the first time. The space never feeling filled until that moment. The moment where her fur barely brushed his own and he thirsted for that feeling again. "I shouldn't be here.." She trailed and every hair on his shoulders bristled. She couldn't possibly think that. it caught him off guard at how hard she was taking losing their children but why would it? He realized with a grievous heart how far he was from her and how long they had been apart. He had once felt so close to her but now she was a stranger sitting far from his presence. 

He would remedy this now. Without even asking or thinking it through he snarled back at her and thundered toward her. His paws bracing the ground around her as his head pushed into her shoulder. He knocked her clean onto her side and stood over her with his nose pushed deep into her chest. He took in her scent, which drove him wild with lust but he let his anger still drive this one action. "If you ever bring yourself away from me, I will chase you down till the day I can no longer breathe. You are my mate. You are not a failure, you are not a coward. You are a mother, a diplomat, and a damn good woman." He growled, his teeth barely grazing the tender skin beneath her fur. "I will not lose you too.." He whispered, his voice losing all the power in his earlier statements.  

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Emilia

of

8 y/o medium Female
Biff, Male Emporer Tamarin
© Kii
It might not make sense to some why she was taking this loss to some. They were his children too after all and yet he seemed to be dealing with it a lot better. But the difference was, he had not carried them for all those weeks. It was not within his stomach they had grown. No matter how it was looked at, the bond shared was just not as equal between the two of them. Knowing him, there was no way of telling if he would accept this fact so easily.

Regardless, she didn't need to bring that much up for his anger to be stirred. She could have guessed her words would anger him. It was what she was prepared for. He came at her with a snarl, stopping just as he was reaching her to push his head in to her shoulder, knocking her down forcefully. It was all she could do to snarl back at him though there was no force behind it. There was an emptiness in her that left her nothing but tired. She did not have the energy to truly fight back, not with such a heavy topic out in the air between them.

Nose pressed to her chest, she simply laid there as he towered over her. Words were spoken, as if to get through to her. A threat, no, a promise? She was honestly not sure what it could be considered. Still, he vowed he'd follow after her if she were to leave. It was true she was some of these that he named though she was not sure how true any of it was. She certainly didn't feel like a damn good woman, especially after failing to deliver her children safely in to the world. But enough. Any more talk of it and she would break down, she could feel it. It was all she could do to close her eyes, huffing a sigh. "Don't be ridiculous." She was back now, wasn't she? As if she would choose to leave now after she put in so much effort to come back. In truth, she had wondered if anyone would have missed her. No doubt Manny would have found the aftermath of the miscarriage and gathered enough clues to come to his own conclusions. For so long she had wondered if he would even want someone like her back after that. She wouldn't dare let him know that her heart yearned for that affirmation he gave her now.




"Speaking."


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Manfried

of

8 y/o xlarge Male
Zandra, female spotted skunk
© Ginga

Another snarl ripped through him as she just pushed him away. He could feel it in his bones, the agony of the distance she refused to relinquish. He wouldn't let this woman shut him out, not after all this time. He just didn't know what to say or how to talk to her about it. He knew the pain she must be feeling for the lost ones but he didn't know how far he should even push. Should he let her forget or cause her more pain by bringing it up? 

A sigh escaped him as his eyes roamed her face. His steel gaze locking onto hers as she tried to avoid it and waiting in silence for her to say something. He wished she would say anything to give him just the faintest clue he was on the right track. "Don't be ridiculous." A glint of hope flickered in his eyes and he wondered what that meant. At least she was still speaking to him, that was a blessing. His mind focusing on her and her alone. "You have no idea do you?" He grunted and ran his nose farther up her neck till the tip of his nose was right under her chin. In this vulnerable position she had no where to go, even if she tried to surprise him. "Even if you never conceive again.. You will remain by my side... You will." This he made a command, something she would not break even if she teased the idea of it. "Nothing you can or can't do will ever change this fact." He mumbled into the thick white furs around chin. 

His eyes mischievously looked up at her with a bit of playfulness he never showed to anyone. Then he collapsed his body in a heap upon her own. His chest most gentle on her tummy but his belly pinning her legs harshly to the ground. He made no noise while doing this and just stared up at her. His face coy and wanting in both play and desire at the mere touch of her body. It had been a long while since he had last played with her and he knew she wouldn't want to.. Not after the puppies but he would force it as best he could until she snapped. "Your move.." He growled and nibbled at the underside of her chin. 

Familiar talking / Manny Talking
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